FEBRUARY ..... NUFF SAID.

Just a quick update on Joe and to say hello. I love that so many people still read this! It means so much and I can't tell you HOW MUCH. Couldn't even begin.

Joe's MRI/MRA has to be redone. They didn't go down far enough to get all the cerebellum. Hm. He goes in next week again, and then we'll see if there has been any change. Joe is steadily doing better. He walks around the house ok without his cane. But he looks kinda funny, kind of like a toddler, a nice wide stance so he won't lose his balance. He had the last of his physical therapy appointments last week, and Meagan (his therapist) was so sweet and she would be proud of him to see him continuing his exercises every day. He even went to the "therapy pool" at the Ridge (thanks for the suggestion Dawn) yesterday. He did doggy paddles and "pool jogging" for 45 minutes while Britt swam laps....a daddy/daughter date!

The 28th is here in no time. Thanks to so many for your kind words and prayers and thoughts. We can't believe it has been six years. I didn't think I would survive one. It has been easier because of your love and comfort and prayers. And because we know we will see him again. And because of His loving comfort. This is a tough life and we have seen many of our loved ones also have to deal with sadness. Wish we could take it away. We WILL be at the "crash site" with the luminaries on the night of the 28th if you would like to join us. No pressure. I'll talk to the Heykoops and McLeods, but I'm thinking around 5:00 p.m. Or just drive by and see the beautiful remembrance.

AMAAAAZING

I thought I ought to update the blog and say hello. Today was Parent Teacher Conferences at Chatfield and it was great to see so many people that we love. We love the teachers, the administration, and all the friends we get to talk to while we wait in line to get our turn. Joe was excited to go with me because he loves to hear all the great comments we get about our sweet Brittney and he loves to see all the people in our neighborhood that we have come to love so much over the years. So many commented on how well he looked and how much easier he seems to be getting around with his cane. He is getting quite fast now. He still gets dizzy but he has the whole cane thing mastered I think. He has a constant "wink" it seems as he blinks so much to keep his weak eye focused. I still worry so much that his eye won't go back to normal, but the doc says to be patient. When I think of where he was just a few weeks ago, I guess I have to be very thankful about his progress. Getting back to 100% will take a long time, but at least he is making so many noticeable improvements. He goes for his MRI on Friday so we'll see how that goes...

Meanwhile, we have been keeping pretty busy -- I have been busy at work, plus we've had a few social events to keep Joe busy. The Chatfield basketball boys came for their annual sloppy joe's last week. We just love the boys and coaches and parents. High class group of people ...they have all been so supportive to us and we can't thank them enough, ever.

The seminary kids came for breakfast today, as the Larsens left to take Kenneth to the MTC today (we will miss you Kenneth but we know you'll be an amaaazing missionary). Joe made a zillions waffles while I cooked up four dozen scrambled eggs, and 3 pounds of bacon and sausage. I dunno how Eileen does it every week...whoosh! But I'll tell ya, it sure was a fun way to spend the 6:00 to 7:45 hours of the morning! These are great kids!

So, that's it...it has been an amaaaaaazing journey as we watch Joe slowly but surely make improvements, as we think of all the people who have been so good to us and shown us so much love, and as we thank God that we have so much to be thankful for still. Here comes February 28 around the corner. February holds all those "last" memories and it is always difficult to get through, but we will with the help of so many. Don't forget there will be luminaries on that night...as always.....to remember our sweet loved ones. Ya'll are invited of course...six years....and they are always missed and always remembered....every single day!

WAHOO!

I haven't written for awhile, and thought I'd catch up. It has been quite an eventful week or so. My parents came out on Monday the 26th and we've had a whirlwind of a time. Mom and Dad wanted to go to San Diego, and as we sometimes like to meet them down there in our favorite beach city, they invited us. But Joe is in no condition for an airplane ride (much less the ride to the airport, ha) and so they decided to come here instead. True to form, my mom decided she would help out around the house and with Joe while they were here, so she immediately set out to clean our fridge, and even got dad in on it. There were bottles of stuff all over the kitchen counters, things I should have gone through a long long time ago (embarrassing to tell of my lack of throw away ability I know), but now when I open my fridge it is like a brand new attitude on life, it is so clean and shiny and lacking in moldy leftovers! We went to stay at the Embassy Suites in Englewood the first night they got here, using some of Joe's Hilton points, to give Joe something fun to do (he looooovvvves the breakfasts there), and we had a great time going out to eat, sitting in the hot tub, and watching a movie on the pay per view.

Joe has steadily gotten faster with his cane this week, and it is very encouraging. His amitryptaline seems to be starting to work, although he still gets EXTREMELY fatigued and some headaches do crop up unexpectedly. The double vision is still a big concern as it seems to be the same as ever. He seems to be always a little bit "dizzy" but he is trying valiantly to get used to it. And his attitude has greatly improved and we are proud of him!!!

CANE YOU SAY CANE?!??!!!

Yes that's right...Joe is walking with a cane now! As of Monday, I got him a lovely little $20 chrome cane from Walgreens. After practicing all weekend with the physical therapist's cane, getting the turns down (that's where he gets dizzy), we even ventured to the mall on Tuesday morning and did the "before opening mall walk" as many do, old and young, walkers and strollers, lots of morning walkers. Joe walked the entire mall, first and second floors!!! He is much slower than with his walker, but he looks pretty distinguished! There was a 90 year old guy that passed him up with his walker, but Joe wasn't discouraged, no not at all!

THEN, he even walked around Target for a little to pick out some groceries we needed...what a morning for him. He was pooped, but he felt really good about his accomplishments.

Here's some really good news, too....since Sunday morning he hasn't had one single oxycontin! He's off of the looney stuff! I'm giving him tylenol in the morning and his amitryptiline at night, and he reported on Tuesday that his head is actually hurting less and less. This new stuff must be working just like Dr. Arroyo said...what a concept!!! I'll tell you one thing, Joe is a totally different person without the looney pill! AND, one more good thing, his blood level was perfect so we even have the coumidin dosage right now. Soooo much good to report.

One bad thing...he's still have a terrible time with the double vision. He's tried to read and watch tv and do some emails on the computer, but it just starts his headache in a matter of minutes because he's trying to focus and just can't. It's got to be such a frustrating thing to deal with!! The opthamologist said to give it six months...and then "prisms" or even surgery. I hope he will get over this part....

But he's doing what he can...walked around the culdesac yesterday with Lindsey and neighbors came out and said hi. THEN, today he walked all the way to his favorite hairdresser to get his haircut (by Einstein's). I said I'd love to take him but he wanted to enjoy the wonderful 70 degree sunshine. See what I mean about getting the old Joe back? OH, AND THE NEATEST THING....the vacuum turns out to be kind of like the cane, and now that he has the balancing figured out, he can vacuum all he wants! HELLO.....CARPET LINES ARE BACK AT THE ELLSWORTHS!!! YAY!

Neurologist Visit Friday the 16th

Well, Joe and I trooped on down to downtown Denver to see Dr. Quigley, the neurologist, at 9 a.m. yesterday. Joe got a little dizzy on the ride, but I got very happy when we could use his handicapped pass to park right in front of the building! Wow, that SO beats driving up the parking garage, taking the elevator down down, and then walking for miles to get in the building!

Okay, for the visit. Dr. Quigley was quite fun, and teased Joe that he could start to try to do more even if it hurts. She couldn't find the cat scan on the records in Joe's file, so we told her the blog address and she looked it up there! Ha! She was impressed that I could almost spell all the meds right. She checked all the pertinent neurological functions and declared that Joe was doing pretty well, considering! First, if the dissection of the vein had been any higher, he might have died! Absolutely are we grateful that didn't happen! Then, she said if Joe compares himself to how he was on November 21, it seems like he hasn't made any progress. But if he compares how he was on November 22 at 10:30 p.m., he's made AMAZING progress. Nice optimistic way to look at things, don't you agree? We are to make an appointment for a few weeks from now for an MRI and an MRA to check on his brain and how it's healing.

Meanwhile, she gave Joe the lecture that he needs to try to do MORE, so that he can heal faster. I liked this advice because I miss my "movie buddy" and have been begging him to try to go to a movie for weeks, to no avail. A movie might be a little much yet, but at least I can go "walk him" through the mall or something, right? His physical therapist also came on Friday, and said Joe ought to start using a cane around the house and get a feel for balancing with that, and then work into going out with it.

ALSO, Friday Joe DID declare that his headache seemed to be a little better! Maybe this amitryptaline is doing the trick! Of course, later in the day he was in pain, and all day today, but we aren't giving up hope!

Ok, long winded, but that's the gist of the news for today. Thanks again everyone for your help and sweet comments....can't EVEN begin to tell you what it means!

love,
rebecca

Another day in the life...

Hello! I've got to say, it is so neat for me to get on here and see who has checked in or written something. It is really touching, and keeps me going. And I run into people each and every day that say they have been "checking the blog"...means a lot to both Joe and I.

Not too much to report...Joe continues to work with the physical therapist and occupational therapist, and is trying to walk around the house a lot with his walker. I caught him trying to vacuum a couple of days ago...big no no. He just misses that vaccum! He claims it is so heavy it holds him up. I had to scold him.

Latest: Dr. Arroyo upped his dosage of amitrypaline (NOT the right spelling but I'm too tired to get up and go look at the bottle) which he takes at night and which wipes him out. It takes about a month to kick in, I guess, and it's been about three weeks. He reduced his oxycontin (sp again?) to only the morning dose. His head still hurts, but we are hopeful that this medicine is going to do the trick. And they also continue to increase his wayfarin (blood thinner) because his levels are "dangerously low"...I really don't like it when they say that. I still worry that he doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything much, because of the constant pain. He seems to be getting a little less dizzy, and a little more of his appetite has come back. Did I ever say that he lost about 20 pounds? That's a lot for him...skinny thing he already was. I think he's gained about five back, despite my cooking, and thanks to those goodies/meals that still magically show up sometimes (thanks). He felt like eating something sweet today (I've been eating sweets for two)! He also started talking about what he's going to do in the future, something he hasn't even wanted or felt like looking into at all.

Also, he's listening to lots of books on tape (thanks to those who lent us some...you are lifesavers) ... which is the only thing he can really do. He can't read because of the double vision which is still there, or watch tv. But he gets through about a book a day...wow. He goes to the neurologist on Friday, so I'll report what happens there....

Meanwhile, thanks so much, again....and again....we are feeling that love and those prayers. I went with Brittney to the Chatfield/Columbine basketball game tonight...it was really great to see these guys that we have come to know and love play so well. And to see so many of our great friends that asked about him. Hopefully he can make it to one of the games soon for an hour or so at least....

Update...Opthamologist Visit

Hello everyone! Today Joe went on his longest car ride yet up to the Lakewood Kaiser Office to see an opthamologist about his double vision. He spent a lot of time with Joe which was nice. He determined (and I will get this description wrong no doubt) that he has weak "oblique" muscles in that right eye, the side of the stroke, which is something that usually always happens. He said that it takes a long time to fully get better and gave him some tips on how to strengthen the eye. He showed me how Joe's eye actually won't go as far down, up, to the side, as his left eye, and you can even see it kind of "twitching" as it tries to go in tandem with the other eye...hence the double vision! Makes sense! (Marcie if you are reading this don't laugh too hard at my uneducated descriptions). SO, yet another thing that is going to take a long time to heal. He DOES have less, or no, double vision when he looks straight ahead, which is better than he was even a couple of weeks ago. YAY!

I tried to figure out how to take off the Christmas template and music from this blog and add something more Januaryish, but I need Steph for that. It reminds me of my house, where Christmas is still up all around the house (ok, I did start on it, but Linds and Mike are coming on Saturday to help finish it up...another yay!) Meanwhile, Joe continues to slowly improve. I'm worried about his wayfarin levels. They have had to up the levels three weeks in a row now. That reminds me, I need to go play nurse and give him his extra dose right now!

Love to all! Thanks for the continued thoughts, prayers, phone calls, visits!!! love it!
Rebecca

Hello and Happy New Year!

I'm finally taking a minute to write and catch up. It seems to be just as busy after Christmas as it was before. Joe is slowly slowly doing a little better each day. The doctor said that improvement would kind of taper off and that seems to be the case. Yet when we were at church last week, I noticed how much better he was than the week before (he goes for just one hour and then goes home to rest). And the week before that he went for the first time and barely barely made it through. So it WAS uplifting to see that he actually had improved compared to the weeks before. The usual day for him is to get up and have breakfast, take a shower, rest, work with the physical therapist, rest, work with the occupational therapist, rest, have some lunch, rest, listen to a little of his books on tape (while he rests), eat dinner, rest, go to bed. He absolutely hates to ride in the car as his headaches are still pretty severe and any bump in the road is excruciating. We did make a big excursion to the DMV to get the handicap sticker, but have yet to use it (wait we did at church yesterday!!). Hopefully that will start to improve so we can get him out of the house some. He is still trying this new medicine at night, and the doc raised the dosage, but results won't be obvious for about a month he said. Patience is the key I guess.

Another worry is that his double vision has not improved. The doc said that may not be connected to the actualy dissection of the artery and may be something else entirely associated with the stroke. That has us worried! We have an appointment with the opthamologist on Thursday....we'll see what that entails.

Meanwhile, I wonder just how much of all this will stay with him and whether he will ever be the way he was. I shouldn't worry about that but I do. But thanks to prayers and food and love and kindness we are getting through it just fine!

Love to you all, a million million thanks!
Rebecca

Hey from Rebecca!

Just want everyone to know how much we love all of you! It was so nice to get so many wonderful plates of goodies and well wishes! Even though Christmas was a bit different this year (I really missed that help from Santa this year...oh boy!!) and it was sad to see Joe get so tired just from all the regular commotion of Christmas morning, it was still so full of joy....because of the true meaning of Christmas. I kept reminding my Primary kids (that's the children's group from 2 to 12 that I help be in charge of) that when we "give" like Jesus gave, then we find the true joy and peace and happiness that He wants us to find. Well, my girls were so tender and sweet in their gifts this year...from the heart. Steph looked and looked on the internet to buy a bottle of Brian's favorite cologne (Him from Gap that is not made any longer)...wow.....and even found an old bottle of Brandon's before which gave her the idea. Lindsey got the idea to get together all of our video tapes from all of our previous camcorders and get them put on cd's, labeled, indexed, everything. Sweet friends in the ward, the Knotts, gave them a great price for it, and so far there are about 22 copied!! Absolutely priceless!! I can't wait to watch them all! Then, Steph had Brandon use his talents in two ways. First he digitally created absolutely beautiful pictures of the temples where we were all married, complete with our names and dates. REALLY beautiful...I'll get a picture of ours on here for all to see. Then, you saw below the portraits he did of the girls...to match our one of Brian. These are priceless gifts of the heart from our girls (and their husbands) who have become the most caring souls on earth. They miss their brother, too, and know it is a hard time at Christmas, regardless of strokes....and even with presents and food and music and decorations.

The ward choir came to carol to Joe last Sunday, and soooooo many sweet people we love filled our house. It made Joe so happy, and really lifted his spirits. It made us cry of course. Kenda Falkner came and sang to Joe with her beautiful voice. Luke Jones came to sing Joe his own special performance...O Holy Night and Silent Night of course. DO WE FEEL LOVED OR WHAT???

Steph and Brandon were here all week, and Steph was the cutest little homemaker, cooking things for her dad that she knew he liked, cleaning, vacuuming, doing dishes, laundry, everything. I didn't realize how tired and overwhelmed I was until she started doing it all (Lindsey and Britt helped MUCH of course too), and it was such a relief. Like Steph said, seems like Joe is in kind of a standstill, yet there are little improvements I guess I miss. If we could just get the pain and dizziness and weakness to get better.....

Okay, it is getting late and I have to go to work early, but just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful New Year, and thank you sooo much for making our Christmas special in so many ways. We are grateful ...more than these words of mine can say.

Much love,

Rebecca

Christmas

We are in denial that Christmas is over... so we apologize, but you might just have to deal with the Christmas background and Christmas music for a little bit longer!

Christmas was just wonderful for us. It was our first Christmas with 2 married couples here, and we had the entire family at home! Our Christmas wish was granted when Dad came home from the rehab center, so we couldn't have asked for more! We opened presents our traditional way (one person opening one present at a time) and made record time! We finished around 1:00 pm. We were also blessed to have Mikes Mom (Lindsey's husband) in town to celebrate Christmas with us.

Dad is in that "stand still" stage where he isn't getting any worse but he isn't really getting any better. He had 3 visits this past week from his physical therapist that just completely wiped him out each day. But he is trying to move around to keep everything flowing through his body and to keep his muscles loose. He tends to feel stiff from lying in bed all day. He watched a movie with us last night and he watched the whole thing. He kept closing one eye, switching off, so he could focus on the screen.. and it worked. :)

Now for some pictures!
.....
Our gifts are overflowing!

We are all in our PJ's that we opened on Christmas Eve!
This was a gift from my Mom and Brandon to my Dad. A picture of all 3 of the girls to go along with the one he drew of Brian! (It is the drawing just to the right of this one ). ----->
Brandon and I completely covered by our presents!
Dad and Brit in their spots on the couch!

So Brandon and I are driving back to Utah tomorrow to get back to work, but I wanted to say thank you for all of those that brought the amazing treats, goodies, gifts, and food for us. It was so nice to be taken care of and so nice to know so many care.

With Love,
Steph