Joe Update and Steph's Graduation

STEPHANIE ELLSWORTH MARCUM GRADUATED FROM BYU APRIL 24, 2009!!!

Well it's about time I wrote! Sorry for the delay...we've been up to our eyeballs, well at least I have! Joe is doing somewhat better, but the noticeable changes have slowed down. His eye still bothers him a lot and I don't think his peripheral vision is improving. He constantly blinks which bothers him but he can't seem to stop it. He can read or look at the computer for about an hour and then he's wiped out. He still gets very tired, and one thing we are noticing that is a big cause of concern is that he "blanks out" once in awhile...forgetting conversations or names or places that he has always known...they are just gone. Of course I have had this malady for a long time now, but I know mine is for lack of concentration not a stroke. ha. They say this is a very normal thing for stroke victims but it is still very disconcerting. He is now officially not employed by JM, but not at all ready to go back to work, so we are waiting to find out about long term disability. One very nice bright spot, though, is that he has been feeling better during the day and he is really doing some great "honey do" things....got all the weeds out of the front planters on Thursday! He can't do anything strenuous, but he sure does what he can! I like it! BUT, ON TO THE NEXT BIG NEWS: LOOK HOW HAPPY HE LOOKS WITH HIS DAUGHTER STEPH AT GRADUATION!!!!!

Except there were some tired moments.....

That's her name.....!!!

The proud hubby..

Steph's buddy Morgan at the Cougar


The Moss proud grandparents!
The Ellsworth proud grandparents!

April and Sue.....BFF's...they drove all the way out from Colorado!

Partying with the nieces and nephews....

(They love Brandon)

Cinderella is an advertising major!
The night before we had Sub Zero Ice Cream...

Temple Square the Day Before...


Celebrating at Mimi's after...

And of course we had to go to the Iceberg...love those shakes and fry sauce!And we played at the nickel arcade with Angie and Fam!
All in all we had a great time in Utah celebrating. We want to thank all the relatives who came for the festivities, and especially Mike and Kathy for providing the beautiful house for us to meet, and we love you one and all! We now have two college graduate daughters!!!! Happy times for the Ellsworths....a few more pix....we love pix.....!!!

Brian's 21st Birthday

Brian's Cake...Reese's Cup Blizzard

We decided to do something a little different for the milestone that was Brian's 21st birthday, last Friday, April 3. We usually invite anyone who is in town to Fazoli's (one of Brian's favorite eateries) and we have pizza and cake and set off balloons in his honor. This year, as Steph and Brandon live across the mountains in Utah, we decided to meet somewhere in the middle and spend the birthday together. Joe isn't in much shape to travel very far quite yet, but we have had a little spring fever, plus we haven't seen Steph or Brandon in so long, that we thought it was a fine idea to meet not too far away, in Glenwood Springs. It turned out to be pretty fitting because right away when we got there we drove by the baseball diamond where Brian played in a tournament with the Rattlers (or was it Yard Teal?) so it was a nice little trip down memory lane for me. In fact, our plan was to let off the 21 balloons we filled with helium at that field, but it turned out to be pretty snowy, so we let them off at the delightful Hampton Inn & Suites parking lot, after everyone recalling a happy memory of sweet Brian.

I got to blow out the candles...

We almost thought we wouldn't be able to make it Friday because of an impending blizzard; in fact, we turned around to come home when the highway signs said that I-70 was closed past Georgetown. We came home, saw that it had opened up, and decided to go anyway, especially since Mike was driving and we trust his driving skills. What do you know, it wasn't that bad at all...just a bit snowy and slushy and low visibility through Eisenhower, Frisco, Copper, etc.

Steph and Brandon had quite a bit farther to drive, but clear roads all the way, so we met about the same time and had a super fun time going to dinner, playing games *(yahtzee is pretty fun we found out), and sitting in the warm mineral pool most all day Saturday. We watched the final four on tv, had ice cream cake, watched a little of conference on our computer, ate free breakfasts, and in general talked and laughed lots and lots. It was good to be together! Sorry to all those who usually take time out with us to go to Fazoli's....hopefully we will go back to that next year. It's hard to believe Brian would be 21. It's hard to believe he's been gone 6 years. It's hard to believe we've survived this tragedy for this long. It isn't hard to believe that we have done it because of the love we have for each other as a family, the love all our friends and family have shown to us, and because we know we will be together with him again someday.

Here are some assorted pix of our weekend. Steph has more on her camera (of course) so I'll tell her to add some if she can. Thanks all who read this! Joe's progress continues to be slow but sure. I am still very worried about his eye and his vision. Also I worry that he is constantly tired, and especially tired after he tries to do very much. He has his doctor appointment this week so we'll let you know the results of his MRI and all that he says. We remind ourselves that it has only been four and a half months. But the future is so uncertain that it is hard not to worry. I guess we'll just pray....

Going in to the hot springs.The girls freezing with their tiny towels.The "therapy" pool at a comfortable 104 degrees!Hanging out at the hot springs!Mike and BritAt dinner with the whole familyHanging out in the hotel hot tub!Innocent little Joe and the water!

Getting ready to set off the balloons

Happy 21st Birthday Brian...you're always in our hearts...

March Madness

It's St. Patrick's Day, so I'm writing in GREEN! No green beer for us though....

(Thanks so much to those who came and sent their sweet and kind wishes in so many thoughtful ways on Feb. 28....don't know what we would have done without all of you these six long years...and we have many more to go...)

I thought I ought to give an update about Joe since I didn't do that on the Feb. 28 blog entry. You could see how much better he looks though! He and his little $20 Walgreens cane just go everywhere! By the way, thanks to all who read this blog. Joe tells me that people tell him they check it often and that makes him feel great, and also I hear from many of you also, and we feel so loved!

Here's the latest. I wish I could say it was ALL better. It seems to me that Joe is at a standstill, but maybe it's just because I see him every day. He gets around very well with his cane, but he still loses his balance and it scares me when he tries to walk around without it. His eye is what worries me the most. It is CONSTANTLY blinking, as he is unconsciously trying to focus it. It is disconcerting to watch him, but probably REALLY annoying for him! And consequently, he still cannot do much with reading or working on the computer, as straining to keep in focus causes a big headache after only about an hour. Plus, as the day goes on and he gets tired, his eye AND his body just wear out, and he still goes to bed very early. (Those that know me well know how much I like to have to leave my bedroom early every night...but I shouldn't complain :) ....)

If I had to put a number I'd say Joe is at about 60 to 80 percent of where he was, depending on the time of day. But now is the time he needs to find a new job, and he is still in no shape to interview, let alone chase down contacts, knock on doors, whatever. So I guess you could say we are in limbo. The doc said to give the eye six months, but I haven't seen it change at all in the last two, so it worries me.

There are good things though! His blood levels have been great for the last two rounds of blood tests, so they have the coumadin (wayfarin) dosage figured out, AND he has very little headaches anymore, and nothing at all like he used to have. Just gets headaches when he does too much....hence the job problem. I have to admit I am getting worried and he is getting more worried about our financial situation, but I have to remind myself, WHO ISN'T??? There just aren't that many jobs out there! Sad times, but we are very very grateful for what we have.

Gotta run...Jamon's coming to say hi!!!

Love to all!

Six Year Anniversary

Below are some photos of the sixth year remembrance of Brian, Michael and Caitlyn....

February 28, 2009

Lindsey working on the luminary bags....

Me with some of "the boys"

Joe with some of "the girls"


Joe thanks everyone for coming

Michelle and her boyfriend and their baby "Michael"

CJ holding him...

It was a beautiful night, and many loved ones came to help us remember and to give and get hugs. We know many more were there with us in thought. We love you all and thank you for remembering our sweet kids....

FEBRUARY ..... NUFF SAID.

Just a quick update on Joe and to say hello. I love that so many people still read this! It means so much and I can't tell you HOW MUCH. Couldn't even begin.

Joe's MRI/MRA has to be redone. They didn't go down far enough to get all the cerebellum. Hm. He goes in next week again, and then we'll see if there has been any change. Joe is steadily doing better. He walks around the house ok without his cane. But he looks kinda funny, kind of like a toddler, a nice wide stance so he won't lose his balance. He had the last of his physical therapy appointments last week, and Meagan (his therapist) was so sweet and she would be proud of him to see him continuing his exercises every day. He even went to the "therapy pool" at the Ridge (thanks for the suggestion Dawn) yesterday. He did doggy paddles and "pool jogging" for 45 minutes while Britt swam laps....a daddy/daughter date!

The 28th is here in no time. Thanks to so many for your kind words and prayers and thoughts. We can't believe it has been six years. I didn't think I would survive one. It has been easier because of your love and comfort and prayers. And because we know we will see him again. And because of His loving comfort. This is a tough life and we have seen many of our loved ones also have to deal with sadness. Wish we could take it away. We WILL be at the "crash site" with the luminaries on the night of the 28th if you would like to join us. No pressure. I'll talk to the Heykoops and McLeods, but I'm thinking around 5:00 p.m. Or just drive by and see the beautiful remembrance.

AMAAAAZING

I thought I ought to update the blog and say hello. Today was Parent Teacher Conferences at Chatfield and it was great to see so many people that we love. We love the teachers, the administration, and all the friends we get to talk to while we wait in line to get our turn. Joe was excited to go with me because he loves to hear all the great comments we get about our sweet Brittney and he loves to see all the people in our neighborhood that we have come to love so much over the years. So many commented on how well he looked and how much easier he seems to be getting around with his cane. He is getting quite fast now. He still gets dizzy but he has the whole cane thing mastered I think. He has a constant "wink" it seems as he blinks so much to keep his weak eye focused. I still worry so much that his eye won't go back to normal, but the doc says to be patient. When I think of where he was just a few weeks ago, I guess I have to be very thankful about his progress. Getting back to 100% will take a long time, but at least he is making so many noticeable improvements. He goes for his MRI on Friday so we'll see how that goes...

Meanwhile, we have been keeping pretty busy -- I have been busy at work, plus we've had a few social events to keep Joe busy. The Chatfield basketball boys came for their annual sloppy joe's last week. We just love the boys and coaches and parents. High class group of people ...they have all been so supportive to us and we can't thank them enough, ever.

The seminary kids came for breakfast today, as the Larsens left to take Kenneth to the MTC today (we will miss you Kenneth but we know you'll be an amaaazing missionary). Joe made a zillions waffles while I cooked up four dozen scrambled eggs, and 3 pounds of bacon and sausage. I dunno how Eileen does it every week...whoosh! But I'll tell ya, it sure was a fun way to spend the 6:00 to 7:45 hours of the morning! These are great kids!

So, that's it...it has been an amaaaaaazing journey as we watch Joe slowly but surely make improvements, as we think of all the people who have been so good to us and shown us so much love, and as we thank God that we have so much to be thankful for still. Here comes February 28 around the corner. February holds all those "last" memories and it is always difficult to get through, but we will with the help of so many. Don't forget there will be luminaries on that night...as always.....to remember our sweet loved ones. Ya'll are invited of course...six years....and they are always missed and always remembered....every single day!

WAHOO!

I haven't written for awhile, and thought I'd catch up. It has been quite an eventful week or so. My parents came out on Monday the 26th and we've had a whirlwind of a time. Mom and Dad wanted to go to San Diego, and as we sometimes like to meet them down there in our favorite beach city, they invited us. But Joe is in no condition for an airplane ride (much less the ride to the airport, ha) and so they decided to come here instead. True to form, my mom decided she would help out around the house and with Joe while they were here, so she immediately set out to clean our fridge, and even got dad in on it. There were bottles of stuff all over the kitchen counters, things I should have gone through a long long time ago (embarrassing to tell of my lack of throw away ability I know), but now when I open my fridge it is like a brand new attitude on life, it is so clean and shiny and lacking in moldy leftovers! We went to stay at the Embassy Suites in Englewood the first night they got here, using some of Joe's Hilton points, to give Joe something fun to do (he looooovvvves the breakfasts there), and we had a great time going out to eat, sitting in the hot tub, and watching a movie on the pay per view.

Joe has steadily gotten faster with his cane this week, and it is very encouraging. His amitryptaline seems to be starting to work, although he still gets EXTREMELY fatigued and some headaches do crop up unexpectedly. The double vision is still a big concern as it seems to be the same as ever. He seems to be always a little bit "dizzy" but he is trying valiantly to get used to it. And his attitude has greatly improved and we are proud of him!!!